1/01/2009 - Revenge is a Bitch brings you Katya — Katya's a dame who wouldn't know which end of a baseball to pick up if her life depended on it. Then, again, she doesn't have to know these elemental things because Katya's good looking, and good looking chicks always have things done for them. That's the way it's been since the beginning of time, and that's the way it will always be: with obsequious guys opening doors, and rich men offering to buy lavish but useless gifts for you. Although there are exceptions to even these generally hard and fast rules. On one occasion, Katya was faced with a quandary even a tight dress, a provocative smile and an ass wiggle couldn't solve. For reasons known only to her, she wanted to fuck this greaseball,Gregor, in his hairy, smelly shithole. It had something to do about goat cheese and where this greaseball misplaced it in Katya's apartment ten days earlier. Don't ask. But Gregor was being a little bitch about it and wouldn't cooperate. As luck would have it, a naked friend of Katya's happened to be in the neighborhood and also just happened to have the sexual implements necessary to facilitate Katya's desires. With the muscle of two women pinning his arms down, Gregor didn't know what hit him. He walks funny these days but won't explain why when asked.

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12/30/2008 - Kick Ass brings you Marlena — Marlena's smile is like sunshine in a rainstorm. And let's just hope the rain stops quickly because who can endure another Osmond family reunion? Just kidding. With a body that's quite interesting to survey for its points of local interest, Marlena's also features a sculpted pubic fuck patch which, upon closer examination, is thought to be a map to buried treasure. At least that's the story, but a lot of people didn't know that. Once the word got out, however, many a man has wanted to bang Marlena for the details to secret largesse. Yet rarely will one session alone with her suffice to gather all the details, so sloppy seconds, thirds, fourths and maybe even fifths are in order- particularly if the guy is near-sighted. As you've probably gathered by now, the hidden treasure story's all bullshit. Although we'd have to say Marlene's worth a couple of shots in the pants just the way she is. Except it would be nice to know you were scoring some pieces of eight besides pieces of ass!

12/23/2008 - Kick Ass brings you Nicole Ray — The man who's lucky to have penis-ized the fabulous Nicole Ray may have gotten a glimpse of heaven. Provided heaven's a place where the dick head's eternally clamped in excruciating pleasure and where seminal discharge flows endlessly into the River Jordan. Nicole strikes us as a woman capable of bestowing mankind with such thrills-a-minute celestial bliss. A look at that vixenish face tells you that. A look at that body ensures you of those prospects. We could die happy men but for a moment of heavenly pile driving snatch time with the exquisite Nicole. Then, again, be careful what you wish for.

12/16/2008 - Kick Ass brings you Georgia Jones, Celeste Star — Georgia Jones and Celeste Star have been bosom buddies for quite a few moments now. Which, calculated in porn time, is, like, you know, forever! Reasonably intelligent these two, that all went to hell with one sordid look at each other. Then these dames began babbling nonsense, acted like primates and started making murmuring goo-goo jungle love noises all of which was really quite embarrassing to listen to. Once naked, Georgia and Celeste proceeded with the ceremonial lesbo licking of the swollen pink lips then went a little bit further than initially anticipated. Out came the hardware and their libidos opened like a ripe cheese. Celeste we believe was the one who squealed like new tires on an old jalopy but it was hard to tell in this configuration of molten ass flesh. There is talk of wedding invitations and the naming of the first proxy baby. But we can't be certain.

12/12/2008 - Cum Eating Cuckolds brings you Nikki Rhodes — There was many a cruel evening when Domingo's tortured nuts would scream for relief. And all Nikki Rhodes would do was laugh. Laugh and enjoy his baying like a wounded hound at her bedroom door. Nikki figured her man got himself in the doghouse, let him work his way out of it. Domingo offered compromise upon compromise which she'd reject. He needed to shoot a load in the worst way. Twisted and sometimes cruel soul that she is, Nikki decided to turn the tables. She figured if someone was going to hit the sexual wedge shot, let it be the local golf pro because he was in her hole more than anyone else. You can pretty much figure the rest of the story once these two guys got together on the back nine. With his panting tongue sweating sloppy ball drool, dog leg took on a new meaning for Domingo.