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8/06/2008 - Inseminated by Two Black Men brings you Jayden Rose — Like a barnacle clings to the rotting hulk of a tramp steamer, Jayden Rose clings to the notion that she's high society. So when the eyes of fashion are upon her, Jayden layers on the sophistication with a trowel and puts on the Ritz like a garage mechanic puts on hidden charges. After all, she's of the Mishawaka, Indiana Roses and must comport herself in the manner akin to her state in life. However Jayden harbors a dirty little secret. She likes brothers and two-at-a-time brothers at that, lathering her blond, rich white girl orifices with brother cream. Heaven forbid her family ever finds this out. Jayden could get disinherited, and we'd hate the thought of that if these pictures ever got on the Internet.
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8/05/2008 - Revenge is a Bitch brings you Amile Waters — Amile Water's white boyfriend told her she could cut the costs of satellite radio and thus get Sirius on her haircurlers. Believing that she could actually do this, Emile adjusted her head and tweaked her ears, just like the way kids used to do with crystal radios back in the Nineteen Whatevers. Nothing happened expect the fact that Amile could now open the garage door with her nose. Which is not a bad thing, come to think of it. But when Amile's boyfriend came home it was another story. She was mad. She reached for her strap-on. Revenge was the only thing on her mind. That, and getting better FM reception from her car bumper.
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7/29/2008 - Inseminated by Two Black Men brings you Kirra Lynne — Kirra Lynne reminds us of every girl we went to high school with. Or at least every girl that had blond hair, that impertinent look in the eye- eyes that took up most of their head- eyes that looked boldly at you and said, quite defiantly, I'm taking the baloney bus to soul town. And you knew there was no way of stopping her. Because it was already in the blood, and once she got revved up to the idea and the jungle drums began beating, her mind was a tidal wave of desire and social defiance. And next it would be jazz records and marijuana. Because once she had it, and the more the merrier, she was forever lost to the white man.
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7/24/2008 - MILF Does a Boner Good brings you Payton Leigh — We like our MILFs with their faces wreathed in beatific smiles. It makes us think of mom. That way we don't feel so bad about abusing them, skinning our onion, then kicking their asses to the curb after it's all over. Because, if truth be told, mom with her constant yapping and complaining really got on our nerves, didn't she? And nerves build tension and tension hardens the sack. So nothing like a couple of quick bellowing roars from the beef bus to clear the valves of accumulated glop, we always say. Look at it this way, if women like Payton don't like it, they can always take a couple of fingers worth, besides. That should wipe the smile off any old puss. And send a message to mom.
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7/21/2008 - MILF Does a Boner Good brings you Kelly Leigh — The older the violin, the sweeter the music. And Kelly Leigh is one of those MILFs who can wring a man's Stradivarius limp with the equivalent of a Carnegie Hall performance. Then one day she met a smooth-talking town to town tonic peddler who thought he could teach Kelly a few new tricks. There's was a hasty romance of intoxicating dreams, cigarette smoke punctuated conversations and calculated hedonism. All because there were other towns and other women to sell tonic to. But while it lasted, Kelly decoded her body noises to realize that the cheaper the patter, the cheaper the man. MILF's get very philosophical that way.
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